Uneven rhythm in a poem grates on my nerves. The cleaned up version is better. I have noticed that your latest poems aren't as uneven as their predecessors. Though sometimes the wacky meter seems to add to the charm, for reasons I can't explain.

Isn't the beginning always a surprise? Unless maybe it has nothing to do with the title?

termite wrote on 03/13/10 at 2:24pm:


Yes, thank-you. I've definitely bettered my poetry, if not in ideas, at least in technique.


termite wrote on 03/13/10 at 2:24pm:


Since you took the time to respond, I figure that I should too. It's a bummer that my answer goes something like 'I don't know what to tell you,' because I'm a little confused! (Okay, a little more than my usual, common everyday confusion...)

But, knowing you, you very well could be right. *Wince*

Jon wrote on 03/13/10 at 6:14pm:


Give that man a box of snappy wappies!!!!

*snicker*

And for all I know, you may be right...

I would guess you are not, but I'm not sure.

Also, I'm not at all confident that I have never used the word 'grammar' in one of my poems.

I don't want to know, I don't want to know...

(I really do want to know, but I don't want to know...)

Joe wrote on 03/14/10 at 10:12pm:


Lol, that move is classic Joe!

Joe wrote on 03/14/10 at 10:12pm:


That is really funny! Of course you know I was just kidding, but it's hilarious that you really never used 'please' in a poem before!

I'm sad...

My poetry seems to be dead right now.

Since I am forever jumping into the middle of conversations on other websites and in real life, I will do so here as well. I like the poems.

I have read with my sight.
I like the poems. "I like," I said.
But now I must head off to bed.
Goodnight.

(Actually those rhyming and rhythm patterns irritate me, but I'm too tired to think of anything else.)

I like classic Joe.
So there.
pft.

Wow, thanks to all of you!

I appreciate you showing me that you ardently disagree with me, and in this case, it's a good thing!

I just went back and read my '362' poem, and I agree with you, E. It actually is written pretty good.

I agree that the subject matter is bad, but the poem is decent. I guess that shows me that my poetry isn't dead!

I'll try and get something GOOD up later today.

Glad you liked the poems, Silk. Hope you enjoy the forum.

If you enjoy it half as much as I have, then you will have enjoyed it immensely!

Oh, I wasn't going to do this (thank people individually), but, why not!


termite wrote on 03/16/10 at 2:03pm:


Thanks, Jen. My stoppage of self deprecation hasn't worked out too well. I guess the good thing is, it's never too late to be nice to myself!

E wrote on 03/16/10 at 6:14pm:


Thanks, E. Glad you liked it, and glad you think I'm fine just the way I am!


Jon wrote on 03/16/10 at 1:07am:


When I was first reading this, I thought that you had written that, Jon. Still, I appreciate the time to encourage me. Thank-you very much.

Thanks to all of you.

Not very poemy, but none of this has been too poemy, so, I thought you all would be happy to know that I just had a fantastic day. I'm about to go change my mood.

Well, I realize if I say what I want to say the "normal" way, that it will be repetitive of what I have said about Joe's poems already, so I'm going to try to do it in poem form, so please wish me good luck in that department, because I'm going to need it, folks   ...

Your most recent poems are great,
But then again, aren't they always?
And relax Joe, don't be irate
About what goes on in your life's hallways

Stuff like that happens all the time...
And I really wish that I could make it better
But unfortunately, I'm not that sublime
So all I can do is write this sympathetic letter!

Yes, this is the end of the poem
And it's really the best that I can do
If you can do better, then take the jeroboam
And I'll leave it up to you!

Well, I don't think this poem needs any more commentary to it, so that's all for now, folks   !

Thanks. 

I'm enjoying the forum so far. I'll have fun with having somewhere to post my poems. Outside input is good!

Writing is fun,
But sometimes it's hard.
A poetical playwright
Is called a bard.

It might not be entirely accurate, but there's the whole poetical license thing...

Aj, and I, it seems are down
I guess we both can wear a frown
Or, maybe she will give a sigh
While, I, am leaning more toward 'cry'

I guess that you all didn't know
A full grown man should take on so
I guess that that is very true
But that's most likely what I'll do

Now I know that this poetry
Is not the usual stuff from me
It hasn't got its usual wit
I'm sorry; guess that I'll just quit

Perhaps some day on down the line
You'll get some poems that are quite fine
But that will be when I'm not blue
'Til then, it just sucks to be you