Heavy Artillery:
I Was Junior Seau

From the Book:

The roar of the water was all around Hilary as she balanced on the surf board. She glanced to the rear. The giant wave curled over her shoulder like a huge mouth about to swallow her whole.
Instant terror. I don't know how to surf!
And then she was on her way, skimming the ocean at breathtaking speed. The wind whistled in her ears. She slalomed like an expert toward the shore.
It's the dream again! I'm back in Hawaii!
She crouched down on the board and held out her arms. She was determined to enjoy this while it lasted. When the big wave knocked her out, for sure she was going to wake up in the locker room at karate class in the middle of a freezing cold winter.
The breaker hit the shore like a ton of bricks. Hilary was tossed every which way in the warm turquoise water. And when she sat up, exhilarated, in the surf --
I'm still here!
This must have been some newfangled, industrial-strength dream. It felt totally real, everything was in living color, and it was impossible to wake up.
I know. I'll pinch myself.
The hand that reached out was massive. The forearm it was about to pinch was as thick as an oak tree.
"This isn't me!" she cried out. The voice was low and rumbling.
In horror, Hilary clamped both hands over her mouth.
That's a guy's voice! Not just a guy; a grown man!
Terrified, she ran up the beach. Maybe she could check her reflection in the glass wall of the hotel.
I can't see myself! she thought in frustration. If only that great big barrel-chested weight lifter would get out of the way…
Nervously, she clutched at her hair. The great big barrel-chested weight lifter reflected in the glass did the same.
"He's me!"she blurted in that deep voice. "I mean, I'm him! I mean -- I don't know what I mean!"
Had she gone crazy? What was going on here? Two minutes ago she was in the community center, waiting for somebody to fix the furnace. Now she was in Hawaii -- and that was the most believable part of all this. She was a guy! A man! A big one! She -- the guy -- even looked kind of familiar.
"Hey Junior," called a voice behind her.
She wheeled. "Just who are you calling Junior --"
She froze. Everybody knew that face. It was on the biggest billboard in Middletown -- the one advertising the Sport Report. It was John Elway, the legendary quarterback of the Denver Broncos.
Elway laughed. "It's your name, isn't it?"
Of course! Hilary wheeled to stare at herself in the glass. The last time she'd seen that face it was sticking out of a glow-in-the-dark shirt at a luau on TV! It was Junior Seau!
She -- Hilary Lighter -- was Junior Seau! But how?
"Come on," Elway urged. "The bus picks us up in half an hour."
"Bus?" Hilary repeated. "Are we going somewhere?"
Elway frowned. "Did that surf board come down on your head? We got picked for the pro bowl. It might be nice if we showed up for the game."
Hilary pinched herself again, hard this time. It wasn't a dream. But it couldn't be real!
Could it?

Copyright © 1997 Gordon Korman, Used by permission.

Nick Lighter and the other members of the Monday Night Football Club are ready for another fantastic evening of sports, planning to use the mystical power of their raggedy old Eskimos football jersey to trade places with one of the NFL stars playing in the Hawaiian Bowl, but first he has to help his older sister's friends prepare for her surprise birthday party.

Unfortunately, when Hillary, Hillary, Heavy Artillery finds all of her baby pictures missing from the family photo album, she declares war on her younger brother, and steals his most prized possession, the number 13 jersey. While Nick frantically searches for the Eskimos relic, Hillary heads off for judo class with jersey in hand, determined not to let her brother find it.

She gets more than she bargained for, though, when she falls asleep and finds herself in the body of NFL great Junior Seau. Now the football-hating teenager is discovering first-hand just how much power and skill it takes to play with the big boys. And Seau is trying to cope with the young girls who are giving him bubble bath and perfume as birthday presents, not his usual kind of problem.

Will Hillary have what it takes to succeed in the NFL? And with her and Junior both clueless as to how the switch has happened, will they figure out how to switch back to their own bodies?